Fishing For Soul
Angling for Spiritual ReconnectionArchive for Byron Katie
What Is Your New Year’s Resolution?
What is your New Year’s resolution? Have you even begun to think about additions, deletions, or tweaks here and there for 2010? Do you want to? Do you need to?
According to the ProActiveChange web site, “40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year.
Among the top new years resolutions are resolutions about weight loss, exercise,” and to stop smoking. “Also popular are resolutions dealing with better money management / debt reduction.
The following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:
- past the first week: 75%
- past 2 weeks: 71%
- after one month: 64%
- after 6 months: 46%
While a lot of people who make new years resolutions do break them, research shows that making resolutions is useful. People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions.”
Good to know. Perhaps you can combine those statistics with this:
“As you move through your day and into a shining new year, we invite you to imagine the lifestyle you desire. Picture it. Feel it. Yes! You are living it right now. As soon as you see it in your mind, All That Is gathers the momentum and moves it into your energetic field.
Keep your self in tune with what is and what can be.
You ARE possible.” – At One and JM
I caught this quote in Byron Katie’s book A Thousand Names For Joy:
“”I wouldn’t give myself less than the best of what is available at any moment.”
Now what was your resolution?
Today am I grateful for time to reflect on the new year, abundant smiles, the #3 train, quiet nights, sunny days, my book agent, editor and publisher, House Publishing and Radio, understanding the Law of Attraction, falling down and getting up, the gym 3 blocks from my apartment, my nieces and nephews who continuously make me laugh and teach me about playfulness and their parents for having the courage to bring those amazing beings into this world.
Thanks and peace to all!
Joe
Life Is Your Shopping Center. Are You Getting What You Want?
Two days until Christmas! Does that strike fear in you or send shivers of excitement up and down your spine? Are you still running around trying to find the ‘perfect’ or ‘last-minute’ gift? Are you wondering what Santa will bring you? Are you stressed or delighted?
I’ve been doing my best to stay out of the way of frantic shoppers here in New York. Three hours in Macy’s Herald Square on the last weekend before the holiday can cure any would-be gift buyer. I highly recommend that place if you’d like to witness some silly shopper shenanigans.
I’ve also been doing whatever I can to make sure that my mind is clear about what is always available to me at Christmas and all through the year: EVERYTHING.
That rang in my head and heart last week as I sat in meditation and heard these words: “”Life is your shopping center. Life is your ultimate on-line resource for all goods and services. Just log-in and you will discover a world full of EVERYTHING.”
Yesterday I was reading Byron Katie’s book A Thousand Names for Joy on the subway when this line grabbed me again: “You can’t have it, because you already are it. You already have what you want, you already are what you want. It appears as this now – perfect, flawless.”
My affirmation for the week is: I have all I want and need. Everything flows to me and through me with great ease.
Now on to one of my favorite heart string tugging tunes of the holiday, Do They Know It’s Christmas? The song is 25 years old! Check out Sting, Bono, George Michael, Boy George and others gathering to raise funds for people affected by famine in Ethiopia.
Today I am grateful for the joy that Christmas brings, for kindness and generosity, holiday music, memories of Christmases past, late night’s with a good book, snow, dreams of a hot beach, playfulness, my body and breath, my home, my work, and my computer.
Happy Christmas and peace to all!
Joe
Who Are You, Really?
“Now is the perfect time to be you. As you continue to know your self, you rediscover the wonderful, beautiful, outstanding, and magnificent connection that you all ways have to everything. Isn’t it good to know that everything is a part of you?” – At One + JM
I stood on the platform of the subway station at Union Square the other day watching people rush onto the express train.
“I’m glad that’s not me today,” I said to myself.
“But it is you,” I heard myself say in response. “You are each of those people. You are the train. You are the sound of the train. You are the tracks. You are the water on the tracks. You are the stairs, the cracks in the wall, the floor, the smells. All of it is you and you are all of it. There is no separation.”
That was not the first time I’d heard something like that. My initial encounter with the concept of “every thing is one thing” came in the early 1990’s in meditative shamanic visions and through the Amazonian plant medicine Ayahuasca. In those visions I experienced myself merging seamlessly with the cosmos.
For the past few months I’ve been reading and thinking about the All Is One concept in earnest in an attempt to learn more about the inner peace that has welled up in me this year.
In her book A Thousand Names For Joy, Byron Katie writes, “As I noticed the falling-away of the self and saw that it’s construct was absolutely invalid, what remained was humbled through the recognition. Everything dissolved – all that I had imagined myself to be. I realized that I was none of it, that everything I stood for was insubstantial and ridiculous. And what remained from that fell away, too, until finally there was nothing left to be humble about, no one left to be humble. If I was anything, I was gratitude.”
Whatever beliefs you have created in order to identify yourself dissolve in the face of the knowledge that you are no less or greater than that which lies all around.
Humbling indeed. Peace inducing for sure. And yes, bring on the gratitude!
Amen.
Today I am grateful for homemade soup, time in the garden, writing, storytelling, soft music, sleeping past 9AM, candles, Always Economically Viable, the Sound Circle Project, prosperous new business opportunities, the YMCA, my book agent and editor, Hay House Publishing and Radio.
Thanks and peace to all!
Joe
What Are You Grateful For Today?
“The litmus test for self-realization is a constant state of gratitude. This gratitude is not something you can look for or find. It comes from another direction, and it takes you over completely. It’s so vast that it can’t be dimmed, or overlaid. The short version would be ‘mind in love with itself.’ It’s the total acceptance and consumption of itself reflected back at the same moment in the central place that is like fusion. When you live your life from that place of gratitude, you’ve come home.”
- Byron Katie, A Thousand Names For Joy
This year more than any other I feel like I have touched that eternal place of gratitude that Byron Katie speaks of. I have many people (I’ll start with myself!), events, and situations to thank for helping me to achieve that feeling. Each time I experience it I am overcome with a sense of oneness, deep connection, and serenity. That sense of gratitude always brings tears to my eyes, no matter how long it lasts, and no matter where I am. It stops me in my tracks and nearly takes my breath away before asking me to breathe deeply, to see the magnificence all around me, and to hear the heartbeat of all things. It gives me a glimpse into what peace and acceptance really are.
In the video below, Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us of a few things we can be grateful for:
“Certainly, when you feel the deepening of your own gratitude, you are touching the pulse of a reality that exists throughout the Universe. The never-ending joy that is possible when you are immersed in gratitude allows you to consciously create more and more and more of that which you are grateful for. Isn’t it nice to know that one moment of gratitude can yield hundreds of moments more that are similar? How open are you to that?” – At One + JM
Amen!
(I found the Gratitude image at the top of this post at http://twinmuses.com. Twin Muses creates ‘greener greeting cards.’ I highly recommend that you check out the web site and look at the Gratitude, Hope and Breathe cards – among many other inspiring works. Thanks!)
Today I am grateful for a daily gratitude practice, my parents, siblings, friends and mentors, Byron Katie, a clutter-free office, my students and clients, new business opportunities, my life partner, sex, the ability to think and act ‘out of the box’, Sunday music sessions, the gym, all of the money that I have now and that is on the way, my book agent, editor, and publisher, Hay House Publishing and Radio.
Thanks and peace to all, everywhere!
Joe
What Have You Discovered About Yourself Lately?
“Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.” ~Author Unknown
Monday was Columbus Day and it got me thinking about discovering and conquering. As I considered my latest self-discoveries and what I’ve conquered this year, I encouraged my fitness class participants to use their exercise time to discover something new about the body and it’s amazing abilities, and to conquer a new challenge – do an extra pushup, push a bit harder in the Spin class. Some realized that physical limits often exist as a strong beilef and nothing more. That’s good news!
“And every time you question what you believe, you become a kinder human being.” – Byron Katie
I’m reading Byron Katie’s A Thousand names For Joy – Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are. It reminds me once again of how much has changed in my life this year – 10 short months – and how grateful I am to all who have been a part of my evolution. That’s a good reminder!
One of the greatest things that has happened for me on this journey of self-discovery is that I no longer believe a lot of the old stories that I used to tell myself. I seem to have conquered those ‘demons’. Or so I think. Maybe I’ll discover that there is more work to do there and then I’ll conquer yet another old fear, limiting thought, or self-destructive pattern. That’s an interesting thought!
I went back to my hometown last weekend. I sat in my parent’s house looking at the familiar and unfamiliar things that fill it. I took my three-year-old niece to the the elementary school that I attended and we ran together around the playground and across the soccer filed. I saw myself as a 6, 8, and 10 year-old running around that field that once seemed so vast, competing with ghosts from the past. “I’m certainly not that little boy anymore,” I said to myself (yes, that was relief you heard). That’s reality!
“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” ~Nelson Mandela
I like to celebrate myself and my achievements. I’ve been buying myself flowers again (lilies) and enjoying the aroma that fills my apartment. I bought myself a gift on Sunday – a book that I’ve been wanting to read for quite some time. I was reading it on the subway yesterday and was happily lost in the world that the author created. That’s so rewarding!
And so it goes…
What have you discovered and conquered lately? How will you celebrate your achievements?
Amen!
Today I am grateful for The Work of Byron Katie, time to read, new business opportunities, my amazing clients, an abundance of cash, my warm bed, friends and family, letting go of the past, my beautiful life partner, iContact, Robin and Melea, an island getaway in December, my book agent, editor and publisher, Hay House Publishing and Radio.
Thanks and peace!
Joe
Judge Me, Please! Lessons from Bruno and Byron Katie.
Curiosity got the best of me on Tuesday and I went to see Bruno, the new Sacha Baron Cohen movie. Cohen’s last movie was Borat and was quite controversial in it’s depiction of racism and bigotry in America. Bruno pushes many of the same envelopes.
As described by the Telegraph.co.uk web site, “Bruno follows the exploits of a flamboyantly gay Austrian fashion reporter as he attempts to make it big in America.
The film has already caused controversy, with some of those duped by the character threatening legal action.
There has also been disquiet among some gay rights activists over the perceived negative way it portrays homosexuality.”
I understand why some people may find the character and the film offensive. Cohen, a talented improvisional comic, takes many of the most threatening gay male characteristics and shoves them down the viewer’s throat (so to speak).
What I came away from the movie with was the renewed sense that there are, and may always be, people who judge others based on sexuality, sex, skin color, financial situation, career, level of education, country of origin, religion, etc. No surprise there.
This past April I attended a weekend workshop led by the author and self-inquiry expert Byron Katie. At the end of the two-day experience, Katie asked the audience to insult her, to judge her.
“You think you know more than us,” yelled a woman.
“Yes. Thank you,” responded Katie after a brief pause and a breath.
“You think you’re better than us,” said another.
Again Katie nodded and replied, “Yes, thank you.”
“Katie, you’re a fucking bitch!” shouted a man in the front row.
Many in the audience gasped.
“Yes,” said Katie again before pausing. “I have sex with my husband and sometimes I’m bitchy. Yes. Thank you.”
The point of the exercise, according to the brilliant Byron Katie (my judgement), was to set an example of how one can choose to react to judgement. Katie noted that she always paused before responding. That and her answer of “Yes, thank you” acknowledged that at some point in her life she had, in the very least, the thought which matched the judgement.
She also explained that the usual reaction to the last person’s insult may have been to say, “Oh, did you hear him? How dare he say that to me?” All the while she would be gathering people on her side to prove how right she is. Meanwhile, the man is likely to gather people on his side and and do his best to convince them that he is right. Then both sides rally against the other. “And that is how war begins,” said Katie.
How can we loosen the grip that judgement has on us? I asked that question in meditation and this is what I heard:
“When you are threatened or insulted by the words or deeds of another, it may be a good time to reflect upon your own words and deeds. When was the last time you held judgement against someone? When did you last judge your self?
We would invite you to all ways start with your self. Look at the ways you judge and criticize YOU. If there is no self-critic, then how can there be one who criticizes others?
One of the beautiful things about human beings is that they are so outwardly different. How wonderfully creative and original Source is! And as the embodiment of Source, you are all the same ‘on the inside’. Look beyond the external and come to see for your self that a magnificent life awaits you, free of drama, insults, criticism, anger and despair.
Here, now, is an opportunity to grow into the best you, the brighest you, the lightest you. What are you waiting for?” – At One
Amen!
Today I am grateful for the opportunity to know and love myself more deeply, for moments when I grow into the dreams I dream, for my friends and family all over the world, for provocative films, for freedom of speech, my ability to be who I am, for all the new business opportunities that await me, for my breath and my body.
Thanks and peace!
Joe
Breaking the Cycle of Doubt, Worry, Confusion, Fear (or not?)
“Your ego has to terrify you all the time, so that you can investigate and come home to yourself in the body. This is what we’re all here to live. When we aren’t attached to our thinking, when all the why’s, when’s, and where’s let go of us, then what really is becomes visible.” – Byron Katie
I read that quote toward the end of my day on Tuesday and it fit very well with what I had been contemplating for hours. Synchronicity abounds!
A good friend emailed me on Tuesday morning and commented on the state of my mental and emotional well-being that I wrote about in Monday’s blog post. She referred to it as a cycle. A cycle. Bingo! Cue the flashing lights and sirens, we’re on to something here, folks!
I couldn’t get the word cycle and what it meant in regard to my process out of my head so I decided to ask about it in meditation. My good friends At One showed up and said,
“You are asking about the cycle of negative and positive thinking that you create in order to know who you are. The root of that ‘cycle’ is you. You in your brilliance. You in your desire to know. You in your desire to dig deeper. We suggest that you journey to a place of clarity and see what is revealed.”
I decided to interpret their journeying suggestion as another kind of meditation, so I grabbed a rattle, made some sound and received the following vision and understanding:
I come to a very large gate which opens as soon as I approach it. There is a golden house on the other side of the gate. I walk through the gate and into the house. I enter a room and see a beating heart – my heart – lying on a table. I reach out to take the heart in my hands and notice that the arteries are very long and are attached to something bigger. I realize that my heart is a part of a much bigger heart and that heart is attached to an even bigger heart. I then become aware that my heart is not my heart – it is a thriving, pulsating part of an energy that is beating, vital and alive all ways. I am a small yet integral part of the Whole. The more joy I radiate, the more joy there is for the Whole. The more clarity I have, the clearer the Whole becomes. Any cycle of doubt and confusion can open me to clarity and joy if I allow it. Any cycle of pain and suffering can be a cause for deeper contemplation and awareness of my connection to the BIG HEART that is alive and well all ways. That energy lives forever. I am alive forever. I am the BIG HEART.
That feels good.
Amen!
Abundant blessings and gratitude to Holly for opening the door.
Thanks and peace to all.
Joe
Love In The Supermarket
I shop at Fairway Market on 74th St. and Broadway in Manhattan. I’ve shopped there for several years because I like the selection of foods, the prices suit me, and the location is convenient. I hop off the #3 train at W. 72nd St. on my way uptown, grab my groceries, and head back to the #3. Easy.
Lately the Fairway has become something more than just my favorite market for groceries. It has become a place for enlightenment. Yes, it’s true, I’ve been having mystical experiences in a grocery store. Last night, for example, I went to Fairway to get my favorite Sabra hummus with roasted pine nuts and found myself wandering around the aisles in a state of bliss.
I was on my way home after a workout at the McBurney YMCA and decided that I must have that hummus. I sat on the subway reading Byron Katie’s (there she is again!) Question Your Thinking, Change The World, and was letting the following passage sink in as the train reached my stop:
‘The advice you’ve been giving your family and friends turns out to be advice for you to live, not us. You become the wise teacher as you become a student of yourself. It stops mattering if anyone else hears you, because you’re listening. You are the wisdom you offer us, breathing and walking and effortlessly moving on, as you make your business deal, buy your groceries, or do the dishes.’
Waiting for the light to change at 73rd St. so I could cross Broadway, I called a friend. We chatted briefly as I approached the rows of flowers, fruits and vegetables that line the street outside the market. I said goodbye to Lynn, grabbed a few apples and pears, and headed for the entrance. As I walked into the store I noticed how vibrant the colors of the oranges, broccoli, brussel sprouts, and Odwalla juice bottles seemed. Then I thought of my dear friend Lynn and how much I love her. A warmth filled my chest. I strolled down the aisles looking at the abundant variety of food and felt so grateful. I filled my small basket with a dozen eggs, chocolate, coconut water, several cans of cat food, rice pasta, grilled artichoke hearts, and two containers of hummus. Every time I placed something in the basket I smiled. I looked people in the eye and smiled. I thought of Lynn again, and Fred, Leslie, Eduardo, Holly, Mary Anne and Lou. Such amazing people! Such sweet souls! How blessed I am to have them in my life. I thought of my family and how good it is to finally let them be who they are. I felt lighter and lighter with every step as love poured over me, into me.
By the time I reached the checkout I was utterly peaceful. “Everything is perfect,” I thought. “I have all that I need. That’s the way it’s always been.”
Amen.
Thanks and peace!
Joe
Let’s Talk About Love (in a positive way).
If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.” ~ Byron Katie from Loving What Is
I watched a movie last night on DVD. Although I was fascinated by the technical style of the film, the story was a yawner. The plot focused on a 23-year-old woman who’s life in rural Mexico was haunted by memories of a father who abandoned her as a child, a ‘controlling’ mother who wanted her to marry and be taken care of, an unhappy brother who worked at a factory job but dreamed of being an artist, and romantic dreams of a paramour who was confused by his feelings. What really struck me about this movie was the constant suffering of the main character. She couldn’t seem to find joy. Her best friend was a video camera. Everything was a struggle. The movie was filled with crying scenes. Please! Why did I rent that, you may ask? Well, sometimes the description of the movie is better than the actual film.
As my own thoughts about love and happiness expand, I find myself quite amused by portrayals of the hardships one must endure in order to find the ‘perfect’ love. Yes, many of us know what it’s like to suffer for love, but what does that prove? That love hurts? We seem to be very attached to the pain of the process, as if that’s what has to happen. No pain, no gain – in love and exercise. When I’m really feeling love, there is no pain, no suffering. I’m just in the flow of love. My thoughts about not having love, wanting love, or needing love cause me discomfort, take me out of the reality that love is all ways there and available to us, and create lot’s of drama – just like that movie. I’m over that (and am willing to find out where, when and how to be over that even more). Love is love and I can’t change it. It never goes anywhere unless I push it away with my mind, so I might as well embrace it.
My experience with my DVD rental makes me want to find films that have a uniquely positive twist on love. For some reason Fierce Grace, a movie about Ram Dass, comes to mind. Any suggestions?
The heart surrenders everything to the moment. The mind judges and holds back. – Ram Dass
Thanks and peace!
Joe
The Door Is Open. Will You Walk Through It?
On Wednesday morning I was talking with my wonderful teacher, Rosa. I have known Rosa for almost 16 years. She helped get me started on my spiritual path.
At the beginning of our conversation Rosa asked me about my experience with Byron Katie two weeks ago. For several moments I could not speak. “Breathe, Joe,” Rosa advised.
“It was like meeting you for the first time,” I whispered as tears of gratitude rolled down my face. “I feel like a different person. Now I know deep inside what you have been trying to tell me for so long. What was I doing for all of those years?”
Rosa and I laughed. “Well, you know,” she said, “the door was open and you kept shutting it.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “I guess I just wasn’t ready or able to take it in this way.”
In truth I have been getting closer and closer to this moment of clarity for a very long time. It’s the next step on a fantastic voyage. Fishing for Soul never ends, and that’s a humbling and beautiful thing for me to know.
Here’s what I’ve taken away from watching Byron Katie’s video clips, reading her books, spending a weekend in her presence, and from years of study with Rosa, Lorna Roberts, John Beaulieu, Sandra Ingerman, Mallku, Victor Estrada, Val Lordi, my family, friends, lovers, students, clients, neighbors, coworkers (all and more have been my teacher and I am so grateful):
- I’ve tried in vain to suppress ‘negative’ thoughts. When I do that I get exhausted and experience pain.
- If I don’t love all of my thoughts then I am rejecting a part of myself and have less love to offer others.
- I’m at war with myself when I try to suppress anything I think should not be thought.
- It is easy, with practice, to just have a thought, notice it, and allow the next one to come with love.
- An attachment to a thought is a belief and can lead to suffering.
- I am what I believe I am.
- The world is perfect.
Rosa and I talked some more about our journey together. As our session came to a close my throat tightened, my chest became heavy, and my eyes once again filled with tears.
“You saved my life 16 years ago,” I told her.
“Joe,” Rosa said in her softest voice, “you saved your own life. I just offered you a light and you took it.”
Amen!
Thanks and peace.
Joe
