Fishing For Soul

Angling for Spiritual Reconnection

Archive for sacred

Where Does Pleasure Lie?

Pleasure is very seductive. I have found myself caught completely off guard by it, sometimes quite happily, other times not so much. I have been lost in it, loving it, not wanting it to end but knowing it would.

It happened again recently, and afterward I tried to deny the joy that stirred inside of me. It was very painful.

I was grateful to come across the following quote by Byron Katie in her book A Thousand Names for Joy:

“Usually pleasure is a subtle form of discomfort, because even as you’re enjoying sex or food, for example, you cling to your enjoyment; you want it to last, you want more of it, or you’re afraid of losing it even as it’s happening. The difference between pleasure and joy? Ohhh…the difference is from here to the moon – from here to another galaxy! Pleasure is an attempt to fill yourself. Joy is what you are.

In meditation I discovered a similar theme:

“”Have you ever noticed that when you say no to something that will truly bring you pleasure you do not always feel so good?

Pleasure is the pathway to you. Can you allow that to manifest?

In every moment there lies an opportunity to feel the pleasure of what is. Take away the doubt and fear. Let your most intuitive self guide you to where the pleasure all ways lies waiting – inside of you.”

And so it is.

Today I am grateful for an abundance of pleasure, pre-dawn stillness, morning meditation, action calls, understanding the Law of Attraction, dreaming big dreams, the gym, Yogi Tea, the delete key on my laptop, the ability to press send, prosperous business opportunities, my book agent, editor and publisher.

Thanks and peace to all!


Wake Up!

soul awakening

My two-week journey with physical pain took yet another turn for the better yesterday, thanks in part to two phenomenally gifted healers and a series of profound meditations and insights.

Dr. Lou Granirer is much more than a Chiropractor, and Susan Krieger’s Acupuncture/Shiatsu-Acupressure treatment was beyond anything I could have imagined. Both of those tender and caring individuals used their technical skills and intuitive sense to guide my body to a much less painful state and help me connect more deeply with the true source of the pain.

Throughout the time that my back, neck and arm were aching, I used meditation to adjust to and release the discomfort by creating visual images and soothing soundscapes that penetrated muscle and bone, heart and mind.

The messages I’ve received in meditation recently have had a great impact as well and are related to much more profound and personal issues than the physical pain. I believe that pain can be a great teacher and these past two weeks have certainly proven that to me once again.

“Wake up! Wake up! That is what your ‘pain’ is asking you to do. Wake up to your self, your gifts, your strengths, your brilliance, your beauty. Wake up to what is REAL.

How long have you carried that pain, not just in your body, but in your mind? We invite you to be open to the possibility that it all began as a thought. Yes, one little thought that you turned into a 40-year saga, believing so many different versions of it that you lost track of what was true.

Certainly, something that causes any kind of pain – mental, emotional, or physical – must be questioned if you are to truly move beyond it. Isn’t it fascinating how you let this story grow and grow until it became a part of your body – lodged deep in your spine in the upper vertebrae – waiting for you to feed it. And feed it you did! Oh, you loved to tell the tale of woe that it spawned! Over and over and over again – relentlessly – you gave in to the demand of the story. It blinded you. And you let it happen so that NOW YOU KNOW BETTER!

The pain of the old story became too intense. Wake up! Wake up! How long can you suffer?

The door is now open for you to walk through, beyond the pain, beyond the drama, beyond what was. As you move forward, please continue to invite YOUR SELF into your life. Embrace your self. Love your self. What more is there to do but to WAKE UP TO YOU?”
– At One


Today I give thanks to the healers: Lou, Susan, Olivia, Irma, Doug, Rosa, Lynn, Fred, Asher, and Robin. I am grateful to the Earth that lets me dig deep, to the trees, plants, stones, water, wind, sun, moon and stars. God bless all of my former and future lovers who are my teachers. God bless me, I am pain free!

Thanks and peace!


Enlighten Me, Please (Dolly Parton Did)

“People talk about self-realization, and this is it! Can you just breathe in and out? To hell with enlightenment! Just enlighten yourself in this moment. Can you just do that?” – Byron Katie

I am always on the lookout for quotes that inspire me and for stories that encourage me to keep my ass moving in a positive direction. I admire people who have created peaceful, happy and successful lives on their terms.

Yesterday I found the May/June 2009 issue of AARP magazine sitting on a bookshelf at the gym. Dolly Parton is featured on the cover. In the accompanying article, Dolly talks about growing up in East Tennessee’s Appalachian Mountains, one of 12 kids living in a tin-roofed shack with no electricity, no running water, and no phone, and what it took to accumulate a quarter-billion dollars worth of wealth.

“I’ve learned through the years to communicate with God as I perceive him. I pray for guidance, and I accept the things that come as an answer to prayers,” says Dolly. She also believes that “You’re not going to see your dreams come true if you don’t put wings, legs and arms, hands and feet, on ’em.”
Thanks for the unexpected Law of Attraction lesson Dolly! Positive Action Equals Positive Outcome.

Although I love reading inspirational stories like Dolly Parton’s, I get equal satisfaction when I sit quietly and listen to my own, inner guidance. That truly feels like enlightenment in the moment as Byron Katie says. It is the gift that keeps giving. At times I am astounded at the peacefulness I feel in that ‘quiet mind’ space, and wonder what it would be like to live in that energy all the time. Hey, it could happen!

“When you allow your self to BE, you find that nothing but that matters. You seek more ways to BE. You attract more BEING-ness. The gift of breath becomes your guide. You become more curious about Life. You fall in love with your self and realize that there is that and only that to know and love. What else would there be? Enlightenment comes from the most mundane sources. Look around. It never ends. Isn’t that remarkable!” – At One

Today I am grateful for the abundance that surrounds me, my J.O.B, new writing opportunites, new business connections, the food I eat, the air I breathe, the MTA, my home, sunshine, time to heal, life’s endless lessons, my senses, my Blackberry, my bed.


Thanks and peace!


Swimming in Soul

“As you move forward into the beauty of your own light, please know that with every breath there is an opportunity to become more of what you desire. You cannot help but be who you are, where you are now. Isn’t it amazing to know that this journey of life is just like a body of warm, clear water where you can swim and swim and swim and swim and swim and swim and swim, and never become tired?

Life is good. That is it’s nature. Let it be that!

Life is meant for you to enjoy. Do that!

Life is full of everything you could ever want. Embrace that!


Choose. And then swim in the endless delight of you.” – At One

TRY THIS: ‘Heart Radiance Activation’

Sit quietly with your eyes closed. Imagine your self swimming, floating, drifting easily and happily in a warm, clear body of water. As your vision expands, imagine a bright, white light radiating throughout your body. Tap your self gently on the heart chakra (the middle of your chest) and take three deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Notice your thoughts, your emotions, and the physical sensations that come and go. Practice observing.

End the experience with a ‘Thank You’ to your self and know that in allowing your self to be with your self you have given your self a wonderful, priceless GIFT. – At One

My Gratitude List for Thursday, May 21, 2009

I am grateful for my breath, my body, my friends visiting from Peru and their incredible clarity, peacefullness and wisdom, my home, my friend and business partner Leslie, my teaching jobs and my students, laughter, meditation, At One, my garden, my quiet Harlem courtyard, the sun, Robin at Shine Connections who is helping me to connect with businesses who want what I offer, water.


Thanks and peace.


Looking Back In Order to Move Forward

Well, here’s some more info for this months Law of Attraction intensive. Looks like I need it right now. Perhaps the energy of Mercury Retrograde is assisting the reviewing, recharging, and renewing.

Over the weekend I found myself reflecting on events from my recent past. My thoughts about the issue were a bit surprising, in part because I had considered the situation resolved.

As usual, when my thoughts are focused on something that is making me feel a bit uneasy, I decided to sit still, ask questions, and listen for the wisdom and guidance to come forth. The message I received in meditation was:

“Once you begin to think about what you considered resolved you begin to engage emotions that you may have assumed were not there before. We would certainly ask you to reflect on the possibility that those thoughts have been there all along. Are your thoughts making you feel uncomfortable, sad, angry, resentful, or afraid? Are you comparing your self to others and thinking you are inferior? Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to ask your self if this is a pattern that is worth repeating or one that is necessary for you to get to know your self more intimately.

It is perfectly fine to rethink your thoughts in regard to any situation. There is all ways an opportunity to learn from the past. Indeed, you may find that there is something that needs to be altered within that can help you navigate this more easily. The ‘trick’ is not to become caught up in your thoughts to the point of distraction.

You may say to yourself, ‘But that is finished. Why would I have thoughts about that in this way now?’ We say first that you have chosen the thoughts and those thoughts are creating feelings that are ‘negative’. When that happens, it is as if a red light has appeared on the street of contentment, and you are slowing the flow of uplifting emotions and positive abundance. You are also getting your attention in order to become clearer about this issue. We see that your thoughts are occupied by this. What will you do? Will you sit and worry or will you allow your self to acknowledge your thoughts with a quick ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ and then move on? Think about that. Does it feel better to wallow in the negative or to begin to attract the positive? Ask questions. Move to the better feeling place. There is clarity and wisdom inside you that will always help you to break through to the feeling good place. Trust that. Trust your self. Worry breeds worry. Fear breeds fear until YOU break the cycle. And you will all ways break the cycle, whether it is for one second, one hour, one year or longer. That is good news! Do you not feel better now? Indeed, because you attracted the better feeling thoughts. That is the power of meditation.” – At One

Well, I DO feel better and clearer, and for that I am grateful.

I have decided that, after rereading what I wrote on Friday about gratitude. I am going to include a Gratitude List at the end of each post. Today I am grateful for my breath, my body, my bed, my spiritual guides, rain, flowers, friends, New York City, abundantly positive opportunities, and work that feeds my soul.


Thanks and peace.


Breaking the Cycle of Doubt, Worry, Confusion, Fear (or not?)

world heart

“Your ego has to terrify you all the time, so that you can investigate and come home to yourself in the body. This is what we’re all here to live. When we aren’t attached to our thinking, when all the why’s, when’s, and where’s let go of us, then what really is becomes visible.” – Byron Katie

I read that quote toward the end of my day on Tuesday and it fit very well with what I had been contemplating for hours. Synchronicity abounds!

A good friend emailed me on Tuesday morning and commented on the state of my mental and emotional well-being that I wrote about in Monday’s blog post. She referred to it as a cycle. A cycle. Bingo! Cue the flashing lights and sirens, we’re on to something here, folks!

I couldn’t get the word cycle and what it meant in regard to my process out of my head so I decided to ask about it in meditation. My good friends At One showed up and said,

“You are asking about the cycle of negative and positive thinking that you create in order to know who you are. The root of that ‘cycle’ is you. You in your brilliance. You in your desire to know. You in your desire to dig deeper. We suggest that you journey to a place of clarity and see what is revealed.”

I decided to interpret their journeying suggestion as another kind of meditation, so I grabbed a rattle, made some sound and received the following vision and understanding:

I come to a very large gate which opens as soon as I approach it. There is a golden house on the other side of the gate. I walk through the gate and into the house. I enter a room and see a beating heart – my heart – lying on a table. I reach out to take the heart in my hands and notice that the arteries are very long and are attached to something bigger. I realize that my heart is a part of a much bigger heart and that heart is attached to an even bigger heart. I then become aware that my heart is not my heart – it is a thriving, pulsating part of an energy that is beating, vital and alive all ways. I am a small yet integral part of the Whole. The more joy I radiate, the more joy there is for the Whole. The more clarity I have, the clearer the Whole becomes. Any cycle of doubt and confusion can open me to clarity and joy if I allow it. Any cycle of pain and suffering can be a cause for deeper contemplation and awareness of my connection to the BIG HEART that is alive and well all ways. That energy lives forever. I am alive forever. I am the BIG HEART.

That feels good.


Abundant blessings and gratitude to Holly for opening the door.

Thanks and peace to all.


How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?

Have you ever noticed that this spiritual stuff sometimes takes a while to sink in? Why is that? Is it because we have believed our thoughts about the world for so long that our ego does not want to let go of the old story? Are we afraid of the truth? And, by the way, what is ‘the truth’?

I’ve had many “A-ha” moments over the past 16 years, including some astounding ones recently. When those moments of clarity occur I sometimes think, “That concept makes so much sense. Why didn’t I get it before?”

I once told someone that I may need to be reminded of something 2,500 times before I change my behavior (that didn’t go over very well!). I suppose it’s the same way with spiritual teachings. When you get it, you get it, and then you find out there’s more to get.

Here’s what my guides had to say about ‘it’:

“You must certainly be open to answers when you pose those kinds of questions! As you know, it is all ways easier to receive information when you realize that life has many versions of your story. Being open to these ‘spiritual’ concepts is like eating ice cream. You decide you want it and you go in search of the flavor that will satisfy you most in that moment. You then remember the pleasurable experience and you return for more. Perhaps you decide you’d rather have chocolate the next time and you find that the feeling of chocolate was extraordinary. You begin to wonder what strawberry might be like. Soon you are in awe of the many flavors and brands from which to choose. You say, ‘Wow, so much variety!” Well, life is like that. The Universe is like that. Variety is the spice of life! There are many ways to know your self. Knowing your self allows you to know God/Spirit/Oneness/Nature/Divinity/Love. Look around. Look at the faces of the people who populate your planet. What does that tell you? See them and you will see yourself. See them and you will see unlimited possibility. See them and you will know that one version of anything but LOVE does not work. That is your answer. LOVE. Be in it all ways and you will all ways get IT. IT IS YOU. There. We’ve told you again. Did you get it?”


Thanks and peace!