Fishing For Soul

Angling for Spiritual Reconnection

Archive for Trust

This Is To Mother You

I was standing in the kitchen chopping vegetables and listening to an assortment of music from my iTunes catalog last night when the following lyrics from the song This Is To Mother You (written and originally performed by Sinead O’Connor on her Gospel Oak EP) beckoned me to be still and listen closely:

“All mistakes made in distress
All your unhappiness
I will take away with my kiss
Yes I will give you tenderness

For child I am so glad I found you
Although my arms have always been around you
Sweet bird although you did not see me
I saw you.”

Although I’ve heard the song dozens of times I was absolutely mesmerized. Following an impulse and a recognizable call to sit in meditation, I hit the replay button on the iTunes program and walked into my dark living room in time to see the moon – half full, golden and looming large in the sky – nestled between two buildings. I sat on the floor and closed my eyes. Images of what I call the Divine Mother began to surface. The Virgin of Guadeloupe, Kuan-Yin, Kali, and an infinite number of energies that called themselves ‘the grandmothers’ sang to me and caressed me.

“All the pain that you have known
All the violence in your soul
All the wrong things you have done
I will take from you when I come”

Memories of tender and nurturing moments with lovers, friends, and family brought tears of joy to my eyes.

“And I’m here to mother you
To comfort you and get you through
Through when your nights are lonely
Through when your dreams are only blue
This is to mother you”

Sometimes I find it best not to question those experiences, so I just let it unfold. When I went to bed I could still hear the voice of ‘the grandmothers’ and see their light shining brightly over my arms, legs and head.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

Who is mothering you?

Today’s Positive and Powerful Affirmation is:
“I mother myself all ways.”

Today I am grateful for divine guidance, mothers all other the world and beyond, trust, Sinead O’Connor, music that moves me, a soft touch, dreamless sleep, early morning inspirational talks, Pandora, Nurture’s Path, deep breaths, and home-cooked meals.

Thanks and peace to all.


Your Impulse: Can You Just Give In To It?

Yesterday I wrote about following my impulse in writing. Without a known topic I gave myself permission to let my fingers and hands find their way to the computer keys and I let whatever wanted to appear on the screen show itself. What came out was a few lines about nothing.

Sitting down to write today’s piece I gathered my mental notes and news statistics about the blockbuster film Avatar. When I thought I was ready to type and fill up the page with some cohesive verse about the importance of a movie like Avatar my mind went blank. Then I heard a familiar voice say, “Follow your impulse and do what you did yesterday.”

I ignored the voice, just like I did yesterday, just as I’ve done a million times in my life. Hmm… And at what price?

I’ve decided to embark on what may turn out to be an interesting experiment and let this weeks posts write themselves. It sometimes happens like that anyway. When I go into ‘the creativity zone’ I often wonder who is doing the writing, talking, drumming. singing, etc. Let’s see what comes through today.

“Whenever you find your self resisting your true nature, you may experience discomfort, doubt, fear or uncertainty. Can you really be who you say you are when your heart and mind are at odds with each other, when your ‘true’ self is left to languish?

What on Earth would your life be like if you chose to follow just one impulse each day? Just ONE impulse out of the multitude that attempts to be seen and heard in a 24-hour period. Do you think it would be any more painful to follow an impulse than not to? What are you afraid of? Being wrong? Being right? Failing? Succeeding?

What if you TRUSTED your self enough to break out of the illusion of beliefs that have kept you from living where and how you want to live? Can you imagine what your life – your world – would look like? Can you imagine? Can you? We invite you to TRY.”

OK! There you have it.

Today’s affirmation: “Positive energy flows through me all ways. I live my life the way I want to.”

Today I give thanks to another impulse, my open heart and mind, the thrill of giving in to something that is not so new, anyone and everyone who has ever inspired me by allowing their impulsive genius to shine through, ‘negative’ assessments, my teachers at the New York Shamanic Circle, the Skype video cam, curiosity, chocolate, and my healthy body.


Thanks and peace to all!


This is Nothing

Every once in a while I sit down to write this blog and it seems like nothing will come out of me, nothing will get written and posted.

For this piece I spent some time looking through books, searching the internet, and asking myself, “What’s the topic?”

I noticed at some point that I was not following my impulse to just allow my fingers to move over the keys and see what shows up on the computer screen. It occurred to me that perhaps nothing would get written if I didn’t follow that impulse, and sure enough, ‘nothing’ is what appeared.

“Each and every day there is nothing waiting for you. Each and every day you wake up to a world that expects nothing from you. Each and every day there is an entire galaxy of vastness that is never in need of being filled up.

Each and every day the world sings your song.

Each and every day there is just you, with nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to think, nothing to be. You are as busy, as bored, as happy, angry or sad as you say you are.

What do you think? Is that enough? Are you enough?”

I’ll admit I read that many times before I felt the truth and strength of those ‘channeled’ words.

So be it.

Monday’s affirmation: I follow my impulses.

Today I am grateful for the nothing that is everything, for the illusions I create, for the healing power of gratitude and forgiveness, for allowing myself to let others be who they are without judgement or expectation, for a world of innocence, curiosity and wonder, for my book agent, editor and publisher, for being open all ways, for the love of friends and family, clients, co-workers, neighbors and strangers.

Thanks and peace to all!


It’s Up to You. Be Stupid, Part 2

Those Diesel ads have gotten to me again. Now they have me thinking about my Action/Attraction Plan and my tendency to procrastinate (as duly noted by my ex the other night).

Who’s going to help you reach your goals? How will you be accountable?

“Whenever you set your mind to something there is a chain reaction in the Universe. All systems are set to go, and the ultimate player in the game is you.

You determine how fast or slow the results come. You determine the outcome. You resist or persist.

Ask your self: What do I really want? How do I want that to come to me? What can I do to make it easier for all of my allies to assist me?

Remove any and all obstacles by allowing your self to do what you do best: Create.

Build your Trust Fund by taking positive and powerful steps EVERY DAY until you feel certain that you are where you want to be and can fully support your dream with your positive thoughts, feelings and actions.

Commit to asking for help – all ways and every way.

Let it flow, let it flow and let it go.”

Here are some affirmations that may help you:

1) ‘I am all ways open to receiving what is best for me.’

2) ‘Everything I desire is mine.’

3) ‘There is help for me everywhere I turn.’

And so it is.

Today I am grateful for the ability to stay on track without looking back, Dona Leova’s protection bath, a clear vision and voice, prosperous new business deals, love without conditions, dating, abundant resources that support my dreams, my book agent, editor and publisher, deep sleep.

Paz y luz!


Thanks for the Reminder Madonna!

‘Say what you like, do what you feel
You know exactly who you are
The time is right now
You got to decide
Stand in the back or be the star.’

– from Madonna’s Beat Goes On

Yes, I’m quoting a line from a Madonna song. I’ve been listening to 2008’s Hard Candy on my iPod during my workouts at the gym. The music, especially Beat Goes On, inspires me to move faster and push a little harder. The quoted lyrics have also grabbed my attention as I review this soon-to-be-ending year and decade, and look forward to 2010.

As the new year approaches I am envisioning myself in some new, unexplored geographical locations, growing my business as I speak in bigger venues, reaching more people through my J.O.B., forming new and powerful professional and personal alliances (that would mean I’ve got a new love, baby), and happily sharing more of myself with the world as I shine brighter and brighter.

I am ready. I am willing. I am open.

Madonna’s song rings in my ears: ‘The time is right now, You got to decide, Stand in the back or be the star.’

There is no time like right now to step into your greatness. Go on, be the star. What are you waiting for?

I’d like to send a shout out to my Facebook friend Thomas who often quotes Madonna song lyrics in his status updates to great affect. Thanks for your humor, intelligence, and inspiration Thomas! Rock on.

Today I am grateful for my Facebook friends and their endless stream of humor and insights, the world wide web, my computer skills, Jennifer at the new mani/pedi place in Chelsea (thanks for the tip Leslie!), my dentist, clean sheets, heat and hot water, my happy cat, bare trees, my body and breath, and the god/goddess in all things.


Thanks and peace to all!


What Are You Grateful For Today?


“The litmus test for self-realization is a constant state of gratitude. This gratitude is not something you can look for or find. It comes from another direction, and it takes you over completely. It’s so vast that it can’t be dimmed, or overlaid. The short version would be ‘mind in love with itself.’ It’s the total acceptance and consumption of itself reflected back at the same moment in the central place that is like fusion. When you live your life from that place of gratitude, you’ve come home.”
Byron Katie, A Thousand Names For Joy

This year more than any other I feel like I have touched that eternal place of gratitude that Byron Katie speaks of. I have many people (I’ll start with myself!), events, and situations to thank for helping me to achieve that feeling. Each time I experience it I am overcome with a sense of oneness, deep connection, and serenity. That sense of gratitude always brings tears to my eyes, no matter how long it lasts, and no matter where I am. It stops me in my tracks and nearly takes my breath away before asking me to breathe deeply, to see the magnificence all around me, and to hear the heartbeat of all things. It gives me a glimpse into what peace and acceptance really are.

In the video below, Dr. Wayne Dyer reminds us of a few things we can be grateful for:

“Certainly, when you feel the deepening of your own gratitude, you are touching the pulse of a reality that exists throughout the Universe. The never-ending joy that is possible when you are immersed in gratitude allows you to consciously create more and more and more of that which you are grateful for. Isn’t it nice to know that one moment of gratitude can yield hundreds of moments more that are similar? How open are you to that?” – At One + JM


(I found the Gratitude image at the top of this post at Twin Muses creates ‘greener greeting cards.’ I highly recommend that you check out the web site and look at the Gratitude, Hope and Breathe cards – among many other inspiring works. Thanks!)

Today I am grateful for a daily gratitude practice, my parents, siblings, friends and mentors, Byron Katie, a clutter-free office, my students and clients, new business opportunities, my life partner, sex, the ability to think and act ‘out of the box’, Sunday music sessions, the gym, all of the money that I have now and that is on the way, my book agent, editor, and publisher, Hay House Publishing and Radio.

Thanks and peace to all, everywhere!


What Have You Discovered About Yourself Lately?


“Every one of us has in him a continent of undiscovered character. Blessed is he who acts the Columbus to his own soul.” ~Author Unknown

Monday was Columbus Day and it got me thinking about discovering and conquering. As I considered my latest self-discoveries and what I’ve conquered this year, I encouraged my fitness class participants to use their exercise time to discover something new about the body and it’s amazing abilities, and to conquer a new challenge – do an extra pushup, push a bit harder in the Spin class. Some realized that physical limits often exist as a strong beilef and nothing more. That’s good news!

“And every time you question what you believe, you become a kinder human being.” – Byron Katie

I’m reading Byron Katie’s A Thousand names For Joy – Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are. It reminds me once again of how much has changed in my life this year – 10 short months – and how grateful I am to all who have been a part of my evolution. That’s a good reminder!

One of the greatest things that has happened for me on this journey of self-discovery is that I no longer believe a lot of the old stories that I used to tell myself. I seem to have conquered those ‘demons’. Or so I think. Maybe I’ll discover that there is more work to do there and then I’ll conquer yet another old fear, limiting thought, or self-destructive pattern. That’s an interesting thought!

I went back to my hometown last weekend. I sat in my parent’s house looking at the familiar and unfamiliar things that fill it. I took my three-year-old niece to the the elementary school that I attended and we ran together around the playground and across the soccer filed. I saw myself as a 6, 8, and 10 year-old running around that field that once seemed so vast, competing with ghosts from the past. “I’m certainly not that little boy anymore,” I said to myself (yes, that was relief you heard). That’s reality!

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” ~Nelson Mandela

I like to celebrate myself and my achievements. I’ve been buying myself flowers again (lilies) and enjoying the aroma that fills my apartment. I bought myself a gift on Sunday – a book that I’ve been wanting to read for quite some time. I was reading it on the subway yesterday and was happily lost in the world that the author created. That’s so rewarding!

And so it goes…

What have you discovered and conquered lately? How will you celebrate your achievements?


Today I am grateful for The Work of Byron Katie, time to read, new business opportunities, my amazing clients, an abundance of cash, my warm bed, friends and family, letting go of the past, my beautiful life partner, iContact, Robin and Melea, an island getaway in December, my book agent, editor and publisher, Hay House Publishing and Radio.

Thanks and peace!